Happy Mother’s Day! (NOT YOU, PET OWNERS!) — Day #10

This Mother’s Day, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend on social media. While most posts are paragraph-long cheesefests celebrating the user’s mother, a lot of posts are similarly cheesy paragraphs celebrating the user herself… for being a “dog mom.” These posts usually go something like this,

*insert photo collage of dog and owner here*

CAPTION: “Happy Mother’s Day to me! I might not be a mom to a human baby, but I am a mom all the same! Thanks to *INSERT PET NAME HERE* for making me the happiest, proudest dog mommy all the time! I’m blessed to be your mom!”

I swear, that’s almost exactly what these posts say…

Um………….

??????????

“DOG MOM?”

Nope. No, no, no. Sorry. That is not a thing, and if it is a thing, then it certainly isn’t something that makes you part of Mother’s Day.

Look, I have a dog. I call him my baby, and if he could talk, I’m pretty sure he would call me, “Momma.” I give him food and shelter. I discipline him, I take him to the vet, and I do my very best to make his life as great as it can be. But (and I realize I’m stating the obvious here, but it seems as if that’s necessary for some people) HE’S NOT A CHILD AND I AM NOT A MOM.

Screen Shot 2014-09-05 at 9.02.25 PM

While you may feel as if being a pet owner is just as overwhelming as being a parent to a human child, I’m going to go ahead and assume that feeling is wrong. It’s irrational. The amount of time, money, and work that you spend as a pet owner couldn’t possibly compare to the amount of effort it takes to be a good parent. It’s a silly comparison, and it’s one that makes you look like an idiot if you buy into it.

Now don’t try to guilt me into being ok with this behavior. I’m not trying to target women who can’t have children or choose not to have children. If you opt for a dog, I MORE than understand. At this point in my life, I can’t imagine ever having a kid. Maybe one day I’ll change my mind, but right now, nooooooo way. So maybe I’ll only ever be a “dog mom,” and that would be fine. But I’m still never going to try to argue that being a pet owner is equal to being a mother, and you shouldn’t either.

Also, if you’re posting about being a pet mom, you’re literally just celebrating yourself, and doesn’t that feel a little uncomfortable? It’s like when someone posts a selfie and makes the caption a complimentary song quote. I am all for confidence. Seriously, I think more people — women especially — should be able to love themselves and be proud of that confidence, but does it actually feel cool to post sappy lyrics from Bruno Mars’ Just the Way You Are on a picture of yourself? That’s weird, people. Weird!

If you are a “dog mom” and this post offended you… I’m not sorry. You are a dog owner, and while I can believe that you do a great job of raising your dog, come to me after you pop out a kid and then we can talk about Mother’s Day.

PS: Happy Mother’s Day to my wonderful mom, who is both a pet owner AND a real mom to actual human children. You’re the best there is, Mom.

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